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She Provoked Me so I Hit, I Hit & I Hit August 18, 2008

Posted by Marie in Numb.
Sigh.. sometimes people disappoint and the only thing you can do is to be there always, hope he doesn’t kill her and that maybe she’ll be that 1% that never gets hit again. The fact that he’s excuse is that she provoked him….
I dunno lah, I know I can provoke anger like no other but D never laid a finger on me, my darling husband has never even come close and when my Dad hit me… I didn’t speak to him for a week till he apologised and bought me loads of stuff (yes, I’m shallow like that). To move back after a half fuck sorry and terrible lame ass excuse is just so weak I wanna smack some sense into her too! But… I’m there for you but I never wanna see him again, just promise you do that one thing I asked you to do… go see someone about your issues.
I know sometimes it’s always easier said than done but … she just gave in so easily. Sigh.


1. Sharkbait - August 19, 2008

sigh….I\’m so sorry for you and your friend.  It is never easy to hear that a friend is in that situation and the emotions you must feel.  Anger, frustration, wanting to be supportive and yet don\’t know how the best way to do it without wanting to scream. 
I\’ve been in several similar situations.  One was my childhood friend who was being beaten up by her hubby constantly.  I only got to know about it when another friend said she couldn\’t go down and asked me to check in on her.  When I got there, she was huddled up in a corner crying.  I immediately brought her down to see the doctor to get her bruises documented and straight to the Police Station to make a report.  She was very hesitant to do so.  I assured her that nothing would happen to her or her husband if she did so, but it had to be documented cause if he did ever do it again, and she wanted to leave him, there would have been official documentation.  True enough, the beatings continued and she finally went to court to get a protection order.  She is now divorced, her two kids are with her, and enough time has passed for her to be happy and contented.
Another friend (not so close) called up to say that her husband was hitting her.  We had just left their place after having dinner with them, so it was kinda of shock.  We rushed back and she was crying hysterically and the husband was drunk and outside the door banging to get in.  We by-passed the husband and got into the house and told her the same thing about what to do.  With this couple, the husband was truly sorry and they now have a baby boy and are at this point of time happy. (Footnote:  I\’ve never met up with them as a couple again as I never want to see the husband again – even though he was a good friend)
Yet another couple, the wife stayed in the marriage.  She is now a shadow of a woman.  She is skinny, withdrawn and never smiles.  Last I heard, he left her for another woman…the Mustard!!!!
I for one feel very strongly that a man should never ever lay a finger on a woman.  My father has never ever laid a finger on me, and if my own dad doesn\’t, no other man has the right to do so.  I have no qualms about branishing a knife and stabbing the Mother Fkr! 
However, that being said, I do understand why some women do decided to stay and give another chance, be it reasons of love or in some cases guilt.  One of my friends said that it was her fault cause she provoked him.  There is no such thing!!!!  NO MAN should EVER LAY A FINGER ON a woman!!!!  I can also say I stabbed him because he was provoking me!  No excuse right?  If she is feeling guilt over it and thinks that she\’s staying because she felt she provoked him, I\’d tell her to get out of the relationship now!  It will happen again and again and again.  Because she is saying that it is ok for a guy to hit her and that is just not ok! 
If it is out of love (and I\’m not saying this is right), but some circumstances the girl might wanna give a 2nd chance to see how it goes.  If it does ever happen again, even a tiny slap (if there is such a thing) or a little shove, walk out and never look back!  She deserves much better. 

2. Marie - August 19, 2008

Thanks Sweets for taking the time to comment. Well, the good thing is that she has made a report etc and she says if he hits her one more time, that\’s it.

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