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I HATE My Helper July 30, 2012

Posted by Marie in Uncategorized.
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I hate her I really really hate her. Like I wish she’d just run away and not come back. It’s gotten to the point where I’m soooo fucking sick of the whole thing I want to do it all on my own. I want to feed, raised and take care of my own kids and dogs, seriously but then I’m not sure how we’d pay off the reno loans or housing loan. I hate Singapore sometimes.

Sigh.

Note: We fired her on the next day but I didn’t send her home, I let her get another employer. We’re quite happy with the new maid now.

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Fat May 24, 2012

Posted by Marie in Uncategorized.
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I’m getting older, I don’t really feel it. I feel fat because I am fat, I’ve never in my whole life felt like this, like I can’t jump, I can run like I used to, my tummy gets in the way when I want to do a stretch – it sucks and it makes me feel very sad. I’m lazy or just tired, I wish I had more passion to get up and exercise but most days I feel like I’ve done all I can, I just just wanna sit still and not do anything – I’ve only just started to feel that way, maybe it’s because I’m getting fat and this is what being fat is like? I hate how difficult it’s been for me to lose the weight and it’s such a slap in the face when so many just snap back into shape, makes me want to smack them. Then I feel ashamed that I don’t have that kinda willpower. Did I ever have willpower? I can’t remember. I liked exercising, I liked sports, I liked spending time with my friends and then husband at the gym, It was FUN. It hasn’t been fun.

Diet? Don’t even get me started, I don’t diet well. I’ve never really had to, I’d maybe go on a diet for a month to lose maybe 2kg, we’re talking 10kg now… that’s at least 5 months, I shudder to think! See, no willpower.

Then I feel sad. I’m like this non-person. I’m not vain, perhaps I’ve never had to be. I used to turn heads, now no one notices the fat woman, no one cares. Not fat enough to sicken anyone but plump enough for people to ignore. Or maybe it’s because I’m old, I’m not sure which is worse? Fat or old. Oh dear gawd, I’m becoming BOTH.

I need to snap out of this soon and go to the freaking GYM.

I Miss Marie December 20, 2011

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Some days I look at an old photographs and I think this wasn’t THAT long ago and then I look for a date and OMG, it’s been 8 years. What? Happened? Some days I’m terrified of how fast I’m losing the old me and I’m just a worker & a mother and I struggle to fit everything else I love and know in. Some days I wanna sit for a bit and catch my breath. Some days I’m so happy with my life I’m giddy with joy. Some days, I resent it. Most days I know things will get better, there will be a balance… but I need hang on.

Missing the 90s July 5, 2011

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Watching MTV and I don’t know if it’s age or whatever but I really have to say that I miss 90’s music. I especially miss the alternative genre. Those were the days when you had to write music that meant something and the whole album wasn’t about getting laid and singing your name on repeat. Watching MTV these days depresses me, no wonder they screen reality crap… now that’s depressing!

Make/ Bake January 10, 2011

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*closed* going with Chocolate Cheese Brownie because I don’t think I’ll have enough time to do a tart. I’ll have that at my next ‘do’.

I spend way too much time changing toilet rolls August 24, 2010

Posted by Marie in Uncategorized.
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So I have a maid, now I don’t in general like spending time with a person I don’t have sex with or have blood relations overnight, very single day, it’s not right, it’s not normal. One day when my kids become teenagers I would really like to just hire a part time helper who comes in to clean, dust, iron and fold. But for now I don’t really have a choice.

According to the husband I treat my helper wayyyyy too well, rolls eyes. I guess deep down inside I want to be able to cook, clean, get water myself so that when the day finally comes and a stranger is no longer staying under my roof, it would be a rude shock to my system. Of course the husband might have a few fits or he might be able to bribe Rylen into getting him his breakfast, water, etc.

However, maids in Singapore are not cheap and sometimes it does annoy me when the baby’s bath water isn’t cleared and how often I have to change the toilet roll. Heck, I even have to make sure the husband’s towels get changed every 3 days… but I’m conducting an experiment to see how long before the husband notices how gross his towel is and it’s day 5. BUT SHOCKING NEWS… it seems people in Singapore are gross… cos in general they change towels once a week!! Then I was told someone I can’t mention a name… once a month!! Oh dear gawd, ok I know I’m the girl who will use her foot to open a door and if someone sits on my bed when they’ve been outside it makes me want to cry, but eeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Deep breath, once a week is fine especially if you sun your towel (which I do) but once a month, my insides are itchy.

P/S: I’m also the girl who can get caked in mud, sweat, jump into a quarry and take public transport home and I still won’t rest my arms on the Changi Village hawker table and I’d NEVER EVER sit down in my home in dirty sweaty shorts till I have a shower. But I digress….

Lets see how long before the dude says “Woman, my towel stinks!”

Reminder July 14, 2010

Posted by Marie in Uncategorized.
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EARLY 2012 = move my ass elsewhere.

Feeling Unhappy April 15, 2010

Posted by Marie in Randomness, Uncategorized, Whine.
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I’m losing my roomie and the choices are dim, most likely I’ll have to move office AGAIN this will be 3rd time and it’s either move in with Mei Hui (kinda yay but…) and the other M (kinda major nay…) but it’s a horrible dark corner and it’s not fair, I want a window (spoilt right?) and plus I don’t think I can deal with the other M’s continued whining and bitching, I feel depressed just thinking about it. The other option is to “shack up” with… sigh… he’s nice and all but the humour is trying at times and he’s… he’s just not Mariana :(.

Now I usually embrace change, I just thought that the next time I packed up my desk it would be me in a new, exciting job closer to home 😦 not another office or two down. Perhaps this is a sign…

The one move I’m looking forward to is taking AGES!! AGES I TELL YOU!! More soon.

A Scary One February 26, 2010

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Click

Protected: Argh October 31, 2009

Posted by Marie in Uncategorized.
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